Life According To Ali: Chaperoning 101

Have you ever been a chaperone for a group activity? Whether you answered yes or no the that question, I've got quite the story for you.

DISCLAIMER: If you are going to be a chaperone in the near future, you may not want to read this post. However, I do still get a little bit of a laugh out of it. Just don't say I didn't warn you!

Background: For about three summers now I have been working for a company/organization called Little Falls Community Services. It is a program that offers activities mostly for the summer but also throughout the school year for kids to participate in activities such as sports. So this year I have been coaching Monday through Thursday mornings. I coach girls softball and then an activity called Diamond Giants. The Diamond Giants is just boys baseball for 2nd and 3rd graders. About twice a year Community Services also schedules group activities such as going to a Minnesota Twins baseball game and later in the summer a trip to Valleyfair. If you work at Community Services you have a chance to sign up and chaperone one or both of the activities. The deal? You chaperone for, say, 10 hours, get paid for those 10 hours, and also get to go on the trip for FREE. Pretty good, right?

Well...

Here's the story. I was never going to sign up to chaperone the Twins game. I thought they had the fill of chaperones and so I wasn't even going to bother. Well one of the coaches that I coach with in the morning always chaperones the Twins game and asked if I wanted to chaperone with him because they needed one more. Immediately I said yes because who wouldn't want to go to a Twins game not just for free, but to get PAID to watch outdoor baseball? This girl would love it. So the only logical answer is to agree.

9:00 AM rolled around and we left for the cities. It's about a 2 hour drive so I brought my Kindle and a magazine and I also slept a bit. We go to the game and have a grand ol' time! We were in the shade on the very, very hot day and the Twins won! Could it get any better? Anyway, I'm bringing people back to the bus (most of the people who go on the Twins trip are older folks) and get on myself and sit in the air conditioned bus while we wait for other people and for my co-chaperone (Mike). Mike calls me and asks me to do a head count so I do. I thought I counted 31 people so I told him that and he said "Okay, I'll just wait outside for the few others to show up." 15 minutes goes by and Mike finally gets back on the bus and says "He's missing." I try to remember that I'm getting PAID to watch a Twins game.

BACKTRACK...
When we had gotten on the bus, Mike had pointed out a man who was on the bus (Mike is a bit older than I am and he also has been doing this for quite some time) and said that a couple years ago he went on the Valleyfair trip and didn't show up to the bus until an HOUR after they were supposed to leave the park. The chaperones on that trip were in the middle of filling out paperwork for a missing person's report, etc, etc. Finally he showed up and they left. Well, once Mike told me that, I knew we were cursed. So now you know who I'm talking about when I say "He's missing."

Back to my story...
Mike says "well, let's go for a walk!" And I'm thinking 'oh great...' Mind you, it's 100 degrees outside with 80% humidity. No joke. But I'm getting PAID to watch a Twins game. We walk the block back over to the stadium and begin our search. We had told security officers, gave his descriptions of what he was wearing, etc., and walked around the WHOLE stadium. I don't know if you all know how large a major league stadium is, but trust me when I tell you that it is really big. After an hour (literally) of searching and Mike talking to the Community Services director asking what to do, we concluded that we were just to call the police and do a missing person report. Mike calls 911 (no joke about that either) and told them we were in a group and now he's gone. He gave the description, where we last saw him, and all that great stuff when all of the sudden I say "oh my God, there he is!" Mike gets off the phone with the police and walks over to go get the guy while I go tell the security officers at the stadium that we had found the person we were missing. Did I mention the missing guy was in the total OPPOSITE direction of where the bus was? Yep. But hey, I'm getting PAID to watch a Twins game. We walk back to the bus (me with my straight-face, no bullshit face on) and as we step on the bus we get a round of applause. Talk about embarrassing. We finally continue on our merry way home...an HOUR after we were supposed to leave. We got home and Steve, the director from Community Services had a few select words to say to the missing man. Let's just say that he won't be going on anymore group trips. Even the Valleyfair trip coming up in August that he was already signed up for. Did I mention I'm chaperoning that one, too? Thank the Lord Jesus that he won't be there!

Just a little chaperoning advice to you...don't chaperone. Okay, maybe that's not the moral of the story. Actually, there is no moral of the story...but hey, I got PAID to watch a Twins game!